Wizarding World Moments
by Refictionista
Summary: Just a collection of drabbles, ficlets, and other random scenes. Will always be considered complete.
1. Body Positivity (Millicent Bulstrode)

**Author's Note**

 **Millicent responds to fat shaming.**

 **Nothing from the wizarding world of Harry Potter is mine.**

 **~ Refictionista, June 6, 2017**

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§ **Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix** §  
Behind the Scenes - Creation of the Inquisitorial Squad

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 _There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty._  
 _~ Steve Maraboli_

"I'm sure you understand, dear," the older witch simpered, "that I only want the most able-bodied wizards and witches to join the Inquisitorial Squad. Perhaps if you took better care of yourself and started dieting—"

Draco stepped forward before Millie had a chance to snap at her, a smooth smile on his face. "Professor Umbridge, I'm sure you can see the benefit of adding her to the squad. She put Hermione Granger in a headlock once, and that Mudblood couldn't escape without Potter's help. Millicent's just as strong as Vincent or Greg. We need her."

Umbridge's protuberant eyes narrowed and her mouth twisted angrily for a second before falsely smiling again. "Alright." She patted Millie on the head, and it was all the younger witch could do not to smack her hand away. "Let me tell you lovely children about the squad's upcoming obligations…"

After returning to the Slytherin common room, Pansy excitedly told anyone who would listen about their duties, especially how it meant they could take even more points from other houses. A sixth-year girl rolled her eyes and turned to Millie. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly. "That pink monstrosity had no right to say what she did to you."

"Honestly, I'm fine. That stodgy cow's an idiot and only wishes she had thighs this wide," said Millie, holding her arms out before proudly placing her fists on her hips. "I can fit more Kneazle kittens on my lap than she could even dream of… She calls herself a cat lover. As if!"

"Good girl," the older girl said. They shooed away some third years and sat down on the couch farthest from Pansy's unwilling audience. She gave Millie a double take. "Umm… How many kittens have been on your lap at one time?"

Millie leaned back and crossed her arms with a devious little smirk. "If I told, then you'd die of jealousy."


	2. Eat That Frog (Hermione Granger)

**Author's Note**

 **A Hermione-centric plot bunny inspired by _Storming the Castle_.**

 **Nothing from the wizarding world of Harry Potter is mine.**

 **~ Refictionista, June 6, 2017**

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§ **Alternate Universe** §  
When the Princess Swallowed the Toad

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 _Swallow a toad in the morning and you will encounter nothing more disgusting the rest of the day._  
 _~ Nicolas Chamfort_

It wasn't until after Hermione Granger lost her virginity to her fiancé, Ronald Weasley, that she realized exactly what she wanted from life:

Never to let Ron in her knickers again.

Hermione was a bright witch, and so she had trouble coming to grips with the fact that this realization had come to her only after they had done the deed. Here she was, picking herself up gingerly from the floor in his father's garage of all places, while trying unsuccessfully to remove the dust from her bushy hair. How in Merlin's name did it take seeing Ron sprawled out on a grubby blanket at her feet to realize how she felt about him?

All of her books and cleverness had failed her, thwarted by her Gryffindor tendencies. She had actually been led astray by friendship and bravery.

 _Damn it all to hell._

Ron's blue eyes looked up at her hazily. "That was brilliant!" he exclaimed, making no attempt to straighten his own clothing. "You were so nice and tight."

Hermione wasn't quite sure how to respond. "Thank you," she finally said, straightening her skirt.

"We should do that again!" he said greedily, grabbing at her leg.

Repulsed, Hermione scrambled out of the way. "No," she said, flatly refusing to encourage an encore performance. "Your father could be back her any minute to tinker on his enchanted car… or worse, the twins could come looking for one of us." She wrinkled her nose. The five minutes of completely unsatisfactory sex had left her both in a bit of discomfort and slightly… what? Unfulfilled? Cranky? Whatever she felt, he obviously wasn't feeling the same. Nor did he care how she felt, she supposed. "And you should pull your pants up."

Ron rolled his head to see the limp pink sausage draped over the top of his trousers in a way that made Hermione feel positively ill.

"Sex with you zapped me of all my strength. I need time to recover before I get up and dressed."

Liar. Moments ago, he had tried to get into her knickers again before she had scurried beyond his reach.

"I'm so glad we finally did this. You were so tight, being a virgin and all. I had to force my way inside, you know."

She did know, and the recollection made her want to kick him in the balls. If Hermione hadn't already made up her mind, that would have done it.

She was not going to marry Ronald Weasley. Even though he, and his mother now that she thought about it, had been telling the entire wizarding world how he had won the heart of "the" Hermione Granger.

Ever since they had begun dating, everyone had told her how she and Ron were meant to be. As Harry Potter's two best friends, they were somehow seen as the perfect couple. This had been perplexing to Hermione, because she and Ron were so very different. She had been grateful for all the Weasleys had done, welcoming her and Harry into the wizarding world. However, just because his family had been kind to them, well… she was grateful, but it didn't mean they automatically had to join their family. Harry did, but he loved Ginny… as more than a friend. Those two were lucky to have found each other. Lavender had once snidely told her how she should feel lucky at being able to join a pureblooded family, especially one of the sacred twenty-eight.

Now, though, she just felt nauseated.

She also felt like running away. Harry would never understand if she told him she'd changed her mind about marrying Ron. It wasn't as if she could claim Ron was dark wizard, or even unlikeable. Harry wouldn't take sides at all.

No, if she wanted to escape Ron, she would have to run away.

She took a deep breath. Why on earth couldn't she have figured this out yesterday rather than after the unpleasant episode in the garage? She had never let Ron do more than snog her in the past, always making sure he kept his hands to himself. All it had taken was a few sweet nothings. "Come on baby," he had said, "let's have an adventure."

She stopped in her tracks.

 _Oh. Dear. Merlin._

They hadn't used a contraceptive spell.

What had she been thinking? She had to be stupidest witch of her age!

Hermione took another deep breath. It was going to be alright. She had options, at least she did in the Muggle world. Any other witch might have to turn to a dubious vendor in Knockturn Alley, but Hermione was a Muggleborn witch. She could simply go to the local pharmacy and pick up the morning after pill.

Which she was going to do, immediately after going to the Burrow, gathering her things up in Ginny's room, and escaping with everything packed into her small, beaded handbag.

Hermione Granger was heading back to the Muggle world.


	3. Anger Management (Hermione Granger)

**Author's Note**

 **Ginny helps Hermione vent her anger after our favorite bushy-haired witch joins a charitable organization chaired by Narcissa Malfoy. Inspired by Jane Foster's reaction to Odin in the first Thor movie.**

 **Nothing from the wizarding world of Harry Potter is mine... or the Marvel universe.  
**

 **~ Refictionista, June 7, 2017**

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§ **Post War / Post Hogwarts** §  
Ginny Weasley's Spittle Remittal

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 _Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.  
~ Gautama Buddha_

"I have never been this angry my whole damn life," Hermione said through gritted teeth as she paced back and forth in her office. "Did I tell you that Mrs. Malfoy called me a goat?"

The concerned look on Ginny's face fell away as her jaw dropped. "You're kidding," she sputtered, dropping down into Hermione's visitor chair.

"Oh hell, yeah. It happened." Hermione made quotation marks with her fingers, "I didn't belong in the Witch's League any more than a _goat_ belongs at a _banquet table!"_

"Wow... Who does she think she is?"

Hermione put her hands on her hips and tilted her nose up in the air. "Malfoy. Nacissa _Black_ Malfoy. Protector of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black," she said in mockingly posh voice.

"Damn," said Ginny. She tilted her head thoughtfully. "I thought it was mainly his dad, but with both parents like that... I guess Malfoy didn't have much of a chance not being indoctrinated with bigoted views on blood superiority."

"No kidding," Hermione said. Then she kicked the wall... perhaps a little bit too hard. "Ouch, that was stupid. Merlin's beard, I'm so mad that I feel sympathy for _Draco Malfoy_."

"Harry says that he's turned into a half decent Auror. Still acts like a prat most of the time, but actually isn't that bad once you get to know him. So, perhaps there's hope for that family." Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Ron disagrees, of course. It's just a thought for future generations, since Lucius is in Azkaban and not that b—witch Narcissa, obviously," acknowledged Ginny, dropping her smile when she noticed Hermione slouching dejectedly. "Do you want some advice? Six older brothers... I know a thing or two about anger management."

"I'm all ears."

"Spit."

"What?" Hermione crinkled her nose in disgust.

"Spit. As hard as you can. As far as you can." The look she gave Hermione was dead serious.

"I'm... I am _not_ spitting indoors—certainly not in my office!"

"In that case, to the balcony!" Ginny smirked mischievously, got up and grabbed the other witch by the elbow, and herded Hermione to the lift. Together they went up to the top floor of the ministry, through the cafeteria, and out onto the roof terrace.

Hermione looked around wearily. "I don't know if I could spit out here either."

"Trust me, it feels good."

"It's disgusting." She crossed her arms and looked at the younger witch, then began swishing spittal in her mouth. "Okay, I'll try."

Ginny nodded encouragingly.

Hermione pursed her lips and inhaled deeply through her noise, then thrust out a very pathetic and wet puff of air.

"Don't laugh," she grumbled.

"I'm not laughing," Ginny said seriously, pointing to her face.

Hermione took a deeper breath and tried again. It was better, she reached a good three or so feet this time, but it was still embarrassing.

"Close your eyes," Ginny suggested quietly.

Hermione glanced at her and once more to check for anyone else out on the roof, then nodded and shut her eyes. She tightened her hands to fists at her sides, took another deep breath, and then _spit_. To her amazement, she hawked that disgusting blob of saliva nearly ten feet away. She tried again half-heartedly, but it didn't go far that time. _No matter_. She was satisfied.

"That was so gross," she finally said.

"How do you feel?" Ginny asked.

"Better."


End file.
